Humans are by definition, a group of social creatures. We thrive with human interactions, we crave for the conversations, the bonds and the feeling of “I belong”.
This feeling of wanting to belong, to be a part of and to be liked is embedded in our genes. However much one may say otherwise this is a fundamental fact that no one can deny. This feeling is one crucial feature that makes us human. It is the base on which many mighty civilizations were built and which has propelled us to where we are today.
But once in awhile along the path of life we may be thrown head first in to situations where we simply don’t belong. whether it is in society, at school, at work or among a group of friends we just might not feel like we are a part. This is one of the most complex of human emotions. The feeling of not belonging aids in the manifestation of the need to belong. Intense yet sensitive, a craving that comes from within.
But the truth is that in some instances, even when all factor point towards the need to belong its okay to not belong, especially if belonging means the demise of ourselves and who we are. Then it’s okay to stand alone.
I know its easily said than done, i know the feeling of wanting to be a part of a group, of a internal joke, or a simple conversation is difficult, the feeling of being left out is not a pleasant one in any form. This thread of human emotions are a scary thing to experience irrespective of your gender, age or any social factors. In fear of facing these demons so to say, we tend to grasp for every straw of chance to entertain these bonds without realizing that every bond is not healthy for us.
It’s funny how we always focus our energy on the things we don’t have rather than what we do. We might have strong and stable bonds with others but still only focus and attract a heap of negative energy from the bonds we don’t have. We exercise so much energy to mend these so called “important relationships” in hopes that we will belong, that we get blinded to the outcome. In the process of “mending”, we constantly surrounded ourselves by souls that hinder us from being who we truly are, from reaching our highest potential, or simply break the calmness of our mind making it easy to fall pray to loosing small yet important parts of you.
some rather toxic relationships can change us drastically, drift us far away from our true self to the point of no return. Especially when the intense feeling of not belong hits you, the intensity of it drives you to act against you will. You will be pushed, even without your knowledge to act against the things you believe in, push you to second judge your self and your values, makes you in to a slave of pleasing others and in turn loose your self value.
As I’ve said before “it’s easily said than done”. But if you try to see it clearly you will realize that its okay to not belong. That letting go of those strings you tightly weave around your heart suffocating it emotionally is okay. And that being alone is far better than loosing small yet important parts of you.
If you do open your heart you will realize that at the end of the day what matters the most is that you remain true to yourself and whether you feel content with how you turned out to be.
So it is okay not to belong, when “belong” means loosing you…