Fear of a Mediocre Life

Yesterday while on my way down the rabbit hole that is YouTube I came across a documentary about a man who was shipwrecked and survived for 76 days on a life raft.

76 days with only a life raft, a spear for fishing and a solar stilt to purify water. 76 days of fear, marginal hope and a drive to survive.

Through the 45 min documentary he talks about his journey, the events that happened between the ocean and him and everything in between. But what stood out for me the most is what he said about how he felt during those long and excruciating days alone in that life raft.

Other than his thoughts of survival he said that he kept having flash backs of his previous life. Flash backs of a life before the shipwreck, of things he did and didn’t do. And he kept saying that he had a gut wrenching feeling that he hadn’t “lived” enough. In his own words he had only lived an average live. Being in a situation where he had no idea if he would come out alive, he felt that he hadn’t done enough in his life to be at peace with him.

And that got me thinking, what would I feel if I was in that situation having similar flashbacks? Would I be at peace with my life?

Most of us (minus a few who truly have “lived”) have just had this mediocre existence. We are all caught up in this rat race we wrongly call life. Work, home, work, home-a routine that we are now addicted to. Life has turned out to be so monotonous that it truly doesn’t feel as if we are living anymore.

Every person has a different perspective on what life means to them, each interpretation is different from the other. And moments that make you feel alive are also different from one person to the other. They are all valid, you just need to find what your moments are.

Some might be holding on to a bucket list of things to do to reach that level of content while some may find that peace in life’s’ simple moments. And some like yours truly, a moderate in-between.

These moments can range from wanting to go on the EBC trek (Me!!), go skydiving to sleeping under the Northern lights. Or it can be as simple as opening up a conversation with someone you always wanted to connect with or reading a good book. It’s all your personal choice. The only question is are you at that point where you are content with yourself?

We never know when our “life raft” moment will come, when those flashbacks will come, when those questions of whether we truly lived or not will come, If that moment was right now do you think you will be at peace? You would be content with what you have done in your life?

If the answer is yes, good for you! You’ve truly lived. But if it’s a no, what would you do to change it in to a big fat yes?